One day I didn’t feel that great, dizziness and stomach churning, decided to lay down for a while as it must have been a bug of some sort. I must have dosed off a bit, but when I opened my eyes and can see my body on the bed, I can feel my head and I can also see it swelled like a pumpkin, I see a watery liquid seeping from my mouth, I cannot open my eyes, nor my mouth to shout so someone can hear me and rescue me. I heard a lot about how some people feel death coming onto them, but never imagined it to be in that manner. There was no pain or suffering, only a feeling that I no longer belong to myself. Suddenly I go back to that deep sleep and when I woke up I was fine, everything was normal again. I am unsure if this was a dream or reality, but the whole thing was so real, I can feel it till today.
I don’t talk about death a lot, but tonight my mum was saying that she would rather die suddenly sitting on her chair or just go to sleep and go away, I told her that it is not a nice way to die, and if she wants that she must tell us every night of the pending things that need to be done, so we can do them for her. I told her that I always keep a log of the pending chores, so if I die in my sleep, then someone will finish those chores, and showed her the log on my phone to prove it (she cannot read or write, but she can record a voice note)
Talking about death is not a favorite thing for many of us, but you see a lot of that in the media nowadays, here are some numbers:
433 died in Gaza
298 died on MH17
10000 died in Syria
A million in Iraq
And that is only in the last few weeks; these are numbers and sometimes it doesn’t feel true as you have no direct relationship with the deceased, but when you hear that a cousin died because of a political unrest, you wonder what is happening to our world. It is enough that we have no idea when we are going to die, but dying because of politics is not something I want to happen to our world; so from tonight I will wish for world peace before I go to sleep, and this is going to be my favorite wish for the new year, my birthday, my anniversary, and any other occasion you and I can think of.
This article is dedicated to Naseer, my cousin who died yesterday in Iraq.