Today I am going to enlighten you on few banks, and on how banks spend our money.

The first bank sent us few of its representatives, who gave the sun on one hand and the moon on the other, swore to us that if we buy in to their investment it will quadruple in few years, and all we need to do is pay up for 18 months. I signed up the whole office, started paying the gratuity money, when the 18 months were over, we all stopped the payment, and waited for those few years to be over to get our quadrupled money back, until one day we received the statements that mentions that if we surrender our investment, the value will not even be a third of what we paid.

The girls in the office were so unhappy that they lost their savings, and so was I; they would look at me every time I enter the office accusingly, as I convinced them to enter into this investment. Two girls left us, as they didn’t want to continue to pay more, and I had to pay them back their portion of the investment (they invested a part, and I invested another part). One day, some money was withdrawn from these two girls’ accounts! They called me asking what is happening, I advised them to go to the bank and ask, as after few hundred missed calls and text messages with our investment banker, we realized that nothing would be solved. To our surprise, the branch manager told them that he had no idea what this is, and told them that he will check and let them know.

After few weeks, the same happened, and they went again, quietly closed off their accounts and withdrew all their money before that cookie monster eats it all. of course the same thing happened to the rest of the team and me, we did the same and got replied to with the same sentence blabla blabla.

Thus the past three years past by and we were trying to chase the bank with no avail. I found out where their hub is, the office is staffed with two clerks, a manager, and a bunch of monkeys (so called investment bankers) who were all standing in the streets smoking and reflecting about the fall of Wall Street, the rise of Shenzhan and the importance of the India futures. What they had forgotten is that, while they are theorizing the market, people are investing their hard earned funds into it, and they shouldn’t be allowed to just talk and smoke, they should actually work to improve the situation of the dropped value of their clients’ funds, and must actually consider the money as their own and try to make it more valuable.

So this is the real story. The first bank goes into a venture with a foreign investment house, hires a bunch of idiots to run it, doesn’t even bother to brief its own branch managers about it and get them on their side; instead the branch managers show their frustration because of lack of knowledge, and of course they make the clients more unhappy. What the bank had totally forgotten about, is that all the bank’s expenses are actually paid for by the clients (us) and all the shirts, pants, rent for their houses, stationary, cigarettes and that delicious cup of cappuccino they ponder upon is actually paid from our money. How can this bank allow its employees to play around, spend time doing their own things rather than focusing and make our money grew more and show us “the clients” that they are actually caring about us.

The second and third bank have done exactly the same thing, they provided us with things that have not worked, we trusted their judgment as they are the experts, we cannot all be financiers and we cannot all understand financial instruments; we need the banks to be the protectors and the advisers; what we got instead are people who will happily steal your money and smile at the same time. for example, I needed a letter from one of them, the letter costed me a trip, an exhibition, a car buyer, and also my trust. To add to this, the branch manager thinks that it was my fault that they didn’t do their job properly, he reckoned that the client should look after his/her own interests. All it was is a letter that I had paid off my car loan; why on earth does this go to head office, and takes 8 days to print? well, it is because the banks have to hire staff and create a kingdom to provide themselves more power, and also to make us pay more money in charges etc. just count by yourself, for every transaction a minimum of 50 dirhams is charged, each of us do a minimum of 2 transactions a month, and a bank will have a minimum of 100000 clients, their charge from two transaction is a staggering 10,000,000 dirhams. I am not going to scare you by calculating how much money my company pays in charges every month ( and we are a small fry, we pay 3000 dirhams a month, there are 450,000 companies in Dubai only, if 50,000 of them bank only pay 3000 a month, that is another staggering 150,000,000 dirhams a month.

If it is left to me, I would open my own bank, and pamper my clients to the extent that no one would ever think of changing from my bank to any other bank.

Why am I saying this? Ok let me give you a story. A tiny consulting office like ours, we visit Oman three times a year to promote; we met a person during on of the trips, he traveled through us, he gave our number to his brother who provided it to the members of his entire family, since then we have advised them all, and they had all been educated by us. I am not saying that we are the best, what I am saying is that we must be a good company as the repeat business we receive is a sign.

Will I provide you a name of a bank to work with over here? No way, I do not trust any of them, nor do I want you to later on criticize me for providing you that contact, no way Jose, my reputation will be at a stake here, as I normally only recommend the best to everyone.