Now imagine that one day you and your loved “one” are walking in a market somewhere in the world! It was a brilliant day, sunny with a bit of wind, not that cold and not that hot either. It resembles a perfect spring day. There were hundreds of people and stalls from around the town that gathered to sell local produce. Lots of pickled stuff in jars, fruits, cakes (some of them are sumptuous) sweets of different sorts, some home produce like breads and biscuits and cookies. Your eyes go directly to those tennis ball sized cherries (a bit of exaggeration here), the colour is not just the normal red but the dark blood red, the colour that attracts your eyes and makes everything else so blurry and you walk to the cherry stall and you taste one and all your senses gather and explode in a second. You don’t know how to explain the feeling that you are experiencing, is it love from first sight? Or is it just the flavour of that smartly grown cherry. You thought the seller must have injected it with a lemon and sugar mix so you check a few to see if there was a tiny hole somewhere! There was none. You decide to buy some and enjoy that explosion of flavor in your mouth time and time again. What happens next will change your life forever. Your loved one refuses to buy it as it’s “a bit over his total daily budget!!!!”

You feel terrible! you cannot argue about that! If one doesn’t have money well it’s not the end of the world, or should it have been the end of that relationship? You started to dream of those cherries, you imagined them and you think like Zorba the Greek when you will dig a huge hole in the ground, fill it with those sumptuous cherries and jump in it and eat until you cannot eat anymore.

That’s when the cherry effect happens, it’s deciding to be your own earner, and whenever you want to have anything (from a needle to a mansion) you can acquire it! No questions asked and no requests made. You work yourself off and you gather all your strength and acquire new knowledge and insights and figure out ways to make you “your own decision maker” and no one else.

What one needs to do is to think and notice every word from every fight from the start. Don’t think that anything that is said will be said once only. There will be other events that will show you the links.  Links between the first refusal, the second and the hundredth! You cannot take these events as separate incidents. The cherry effect is a collection of thousands of incidents that are designed to make your life miserable. life is not as straight forward as one thinks, you are faced with trillions of decisions every day, each decision might lead you to a different route, so you can have hundreds of routes if you try to think about each decision.  in fact if you drew a decision tree for the various possibilities a decision can lead you too,  it might be mind boggling and you might end up not making a decision after all.  You might have to make a few only and stick to them and only change course when you find yourself at a loss or on a blocked road.

Of course there is no such thing as the Cherry effect. There is though the butterfly 🦋 effect! When a butterfly flutter its wings in China, a tornado happens in USA. This is one of the examples of the chaos theory and believe me your life and mine are very dependent on such chaos, something happens today can affect a thousand things that happen in a ten year time.

Watch out for the cherry/butterfly effect, the reverberation can be shocking. in every situation in life one can have a different reaction.  Think about it as a maze, and you enter the wrong route, and then you are stuck for life.


However, it might be interesting to just go with the flow and let life lead you.