I am not a clinical psychologist, I am not an anthropologist, I am not a person that understands human behavior, but I do have a sharp mind, I am curious and can notice things. So this is what I have been noticing:
Nowadays, and more than ever, I see husbands drifting away, I see wives drifting away, and I see couples each go separate ways. The divorce rate is highest in all nations and those not divorced yet are either turning their back to each other, staying in separate rooms, or not talking at all but just being there! basically separated. I see children getting disturbed as more and more families sit on the verge of being destroyed, I see homes that are no longer homes and I see lives in danger.
What is happening to life? why is it that people meet, love each other, get married and suddenly and after years of being together, each drifts away or go separate ways? I wonder?
There could be many sources to this problem, one of the sources is what I would call “being quite” I feel if we are taught to talk about the problems in a civilized manner without pretending that no problem exists may cure the matter. I feel people are scared, they don’t like to face problems head on, as that may encounter a speedy rejection and instead of curing the situation they may aggravate it even more, thus they keep silent while deep inside they are turning and tossing. The matters become worse when another situation happens and that too is kept inside. Then comes a time when we notice that we are holding a “book of grudges” against each other, and repairing every page in that book becomes so difficult hence going separate ways is the obvious solution. Maybe 99% of the pages of that book are silly incidents which we could have curtailed by simply speaking up about them, but keeping them buried inside our souls creates a disease similar to cancer or worse, if you do not remove it, you can die. Start with the assumption that life is precious and that having someone there who is wiling to give up everything for you is priceless. Start thinking that life is worth living. think about happiness and how the universe will threw it back at you whenever you are down.
To me life is precious, I feel couples must remember that one day, one would be of age that no friend will be present. Only that other half will be present. So, to keep your end of life happy, please don’t start writing that book of grudges, please talk about the problem to each other and live a happy life, just for the sake of your old age when you won’t have anyone beside you.
Happy speaking up, and hope you all get the strength to stay together.