Last night was a night to remember, we had a gathering of sisters and few friends as mum is here to attend my daughter’s engagement party; one of the visitor was a mere two and half year old child.
Mum has a tradition at the end of Rajab (a Luna month that is two month prior to Ramadhan) which includes special reading of some prayers, some traditional songs, candles and food. This celebration has a tricky part though, the food and candles are laid out on a special fabric on the floor, and we gather around it and read that book which is now really worn out. The celebration also includes cutting a melon to pieces and making a vow prior to eating it, so the cycle is completed the following year.
Well, I am not trying to explain what we do in our day to day stuff when mother is around, as everyday is more interesting than the other, I am only trying to make you visualize the place and think for a moment about that two and half year old. He of course looks like a seven year old, with the size of a large sheep before sheering, and when he walks he is similar to that vacuum cleaner that goes haywire in cartoons (I don’t see this cartoon anymore, I think it was replaced with other nicer cartoons showing things that kill people instead) and his arms move back and forth and sideways in a rhythmic fashion that meant to be for hitting any item in front of them and around them. Imagine, I am talking about a two year old child here!! Ok, now he has two maids running after him, while he is eating a 100 pieces of biscuits, few pieces of meat, some cakes, an apple all at one go, he also stuffed two felafels in his mouth and was trying to chew all of this and kick anything that is a meter around him. Of course my plants were crying last night, and the new lawn outside in the garden was screaming as his hair was being pulled out, the pots couldn’t avoid him, so the soil is all out side thrown on the garden chairs, and the cat ( who is very naughty herself) decided that she had enough of him and ran out of the house. of course when he left we discovered the broken vases, stained coaches and and so on. I regret not taking a video of him and sending it to one of my universities that does child behavior, so they study this child. I am sure the professors will have a jolly time trying to figure out this one.
I cannot remember if my three kids were naughty, and if they were naughty I am sure I had methods of making them set quite in people’s houses, I know that my daughter who is getting engaged used to think that she is the queen and she meant to sit on a chair so people have the chance to look at her, and my son was the king of bites, no one escaped his sharp teeth, T don’t think the little one was naughty, but I do remember that she was whining all the time demanding chewing gum!!. Put all three of my kids together and you can equate them to that rabbit that has the regular battery, compared to this child, he is certainly the one with the Energiser battery, but of course that advert would have chaged to a giant rabbit running with four-horse-power Energiser battery, and this rabbit is left loose in places that has equisite stuff just for fun.
I hope you were able to visualize the scene, and I wish we have a gadget that records our thoughts and covert them to a video, this one would be the one that will earn money, as no amount of Denise the Menace, or The Rascals, The Goonies, etc will be more entertaining and nerve wrecking as much as watching this child move and eat. however what I would like you to do is to suggest ways to make him a regular boy who sits and reads books, draws, paints, and eat just a little and go for naps! don’t take me wrong, I love him, but we have to have him in an empty space not in a house with furniture, and let him imagine what next to do, as there is no next.
Thanks for listening, I had nightmares about him throwing lit candles near the curtains, and we were all inside and burnt to death. oh my god, what a night.
(I have a confession to make, last night after everyone had left I wrote a stronger version of this blog, and something happened to my stupid Ipad when I opened a new tab to find the brands of batteries, i lost the piece, what a pity, you would have laughed)